Do you feel that Meditation is not for you? Or it is too hard? But you also have this deep calling that you want to meditate. If yes, this episode is for you.
Embarking on a 10-day Vipassana silent meditation retreat, I was awakened to the profound impact that true meditation can have on one's life.
Join me as we unravel the myths and realities of this ancient practice, and understand why it's more about connecting with your inner self than quieting the mind. In this heartfelt discussion, we distinguish meditation from mindfulness, sharing insights from the journey and how even the busiest people can find solace in brief moments of practice.
I also invite you to join me in a Women's Circle in-person event to celebrate International Women's Day that harnesses the collective power of this timeless practice. For more info, connect on Instagram.
Also, here is a special gift for you - A Calming Guided Meditation for those turbulent days or moments.
Join the Flawthentic Me community of powerful women who are always there to celebrate you.. Join Group here!
Grab your Free 30-Day Self Love Calendar.
Let's connect:
Website: www.flawthenticme.com
Facebook
Instagram
Do you feel that Meditation is not for you? Or it is too hard? But you also have this deep calling that you want to meditate. If yes, this episode is for you.
Embarking on a 10-day Vipassana silent meditation retreat, I was awakened to the profound impact that true meditation can have on one's life.
Join me as we unravel the myths and realities of this ancient practice, and understand why it's more about connecting with your inner self than quieting the mind. In this heartfelt discussion, we distinguish meditation from mindfulness, sharing insights from the journey and how even the busiest people can find solace in brief moments of practice.
I also invite you to join me in a Women's Circle in-person event to celebrate International Women's Day that harnesses the collective power of this timeless practice. For more info, connect on Instagram.
Also, here is a special gift for you - A Calming Guided Meditation for those turbulent days or moments.
Join the Flawthentic Me community of powerful women who are always there to celebrate you.. Join Group here!
Grab your Free 30-Day Self Love Calendar.
Let's connect:
Website: www.flawthenticme.com
Facebook
Instagram
Do you feel that meditation is hard and you are not meant for meditation? You can never, ever stop your brain from thinking. In today's podcast, I am debunking some of those meditation myths, so let's dive in. This is Flawthentic Me, a self-love podcast for South Asian women. A place where we celebrate self-love even when we feel imperfect or flawed. A safe space where you can be raw, real and authentic. And here's your host, self-love and mindset coach, sunny Lamber. Welcome back to Flawthentic Me. I'm your host, sunny Lamber, and today I'm talking about something that has transformed my life. It has totally changed the old Sunny into this new version who believes in herself, who believes in her power and who is able to change anything that is holding her back. Yes, we are talking about meditation.
Sunny Lamba:Since I finished my 10 days vipassana silent meditation program, I came back and I have been very, very consistent with my meditation because I fell in love with it, but also I finally understood the power of meditation. Before vipassana, I was meditating for almost seven years but I still had all these myths and ideas in my brain which did not let me really cap into the true power of meditation. I do a lot of meditations with my clients in the coaching calls, also in my master classes, and I recently did my first in-person meditation event, and the one thing that I keep hearing from all of you is I cannot meditate, I cannot stop my brain from thinking, I cannot focus, I cannot sit for long time. So today I decided that I'm going to get into the whole idea of meditation. What is it? Demystify meditation and also talk about some of those ideas and myths that we all believe in. This is going to be a two-part episode. In the first part, today, I will talk about clarifying the difference between meditation and mindfulness. I'll give a definition and there's millions of definition, but the one that I resonate with and then I will go into debunking some of the myths. In part two, we will talk about the science behind meditation, the benefits and some tips for you to take away. So let's get started In the beginning.
Sunny Lamba:I have a beautiful gift for you. I have recorded a calming meditation for you. It takes you to a place of calm and tranquility. If you've had a day where things just didn't go right maybe the traffic was crazy, maybe the kids were just too energetic. Today and your emotions are piling up, you want to plug in your headphones and listen to this meditation and it will calm you down, bring you to a place of love and joy and peace. The link to download this meditation is in the show notes.
Sunny Lamba:Before I get into the nitty gritties of meditation, I want to remind you that my first meditation session, the in-person session that I did it was a women's circle was amazing and I got some beautiful reviews from everyone. People reached out to me and said that they've never felt like this in years. So I decided to do one more women's circle in the month of March To celebrate International Women's Day. I thought why not do a women's circle and have a meditation around the power of women? So this is going to be in March. If you want to be a part of it. Of course it's an in-person event. It's in GTA, in the Toronto area. If you want to be a part of it, send me a message on Instagram at Sunny underscore Lamba. I would love to guide you through this beautiful practice called meditation.
Sunny Lamba:And now let's get into our topic for the day. I have talked to so many people who say that I go for a walk, and that is my meditation. I take my dog for a walk, or I go for hiking, and that is my meditation. I am cooking and I am very present, and that's my meditation. I meditate when I'm painting. I meditate when I'm lifting weights.
Sunny Lamba:I want to start this episode by clarifying and just a little bit going into the difference between meditation and mindfulness. So all the examples that I just gave are not meditation. It's very important to have a clear definition. Meditation teacher Dandapani says that when we don't have a clear definition, we are confusing people who have never meditated in their life by giving them wrong instructions. So it's like you train a dog to sit and you use the word sit and you train them, but then, after they have been trained, you say stand and you expect them to sit. It's exactly like that. Giving wrong instructions to someone or using the wrong terminology is really taking the focus away from the whole idea of meditation. I am not saying that any of the things that I mentioned before are not beneficial. They are amazing, but they are not meditation. When your definition is clear, you assign one specific meaning to the word meditation and it aids in a clear practice for you, because then you are very, very clear about what your intentions are with meditation.
Sunny Lamba:I have a fellow coach who tells her clients also that lifting weights or walking and being really present in the moment is meditation. And that's doing the disservice to your clients because you want them to be able to experience that next level. Yes, if you are new to meditation, being present is the first step, but that is called mindfulness. You start with that. You be present in your day to day activities, like doing the dishes, cooking, painting, dancing, taking your dog for a walk. You are very, very present. But if you start calling that meditation, you take away that next step from your clients. You take away that benefits of meditation that they can experience when they go to that next level of actually meditative. So I really want to differentiate between the two.
Sunny Lamba:Mindfulness is being present, being in the moment. What that looks like is in your day to day activities. You are not going down the rabbit hole of your thoughts. So when you're exercising you are mindful, you are really present and saying, okay, now I'm lifting this weight, now I'm doing the curls, now I'm doing the push-ups. So you're very, very present, not that. Okay, I have to do 10 push-ups and I'm doing the 10 push-ups, but in my thoughts I'm thinking, oh, my God, I haven't exercised in a week. This hurts, this is painful. I am the worst person ever because I'm not consistent. You are down that rabbit hole of thinking, but being present means that you are really harnessing the benefits of that exercise because you're really feeling it. Similarly, when you're cooking, you're really present in the moment, the smell that's coming, the beautiful aromas and your action of your arm, when you're stirring that pot or when you go for a walk, instead of just lost in your thoughts or listening to a podcast or some music, you're really connecting with the nature and you're being present with every step. Yes, I'm taking my next step now. That is mindfulness. It is a beautiful space to be in. It is the first step towards then training your attention muscle even more through meditation. But it is not meditation.
Sunny Lamba:I'm going to read the definition of meditation from the meditation guru Dandapani. It's actually his guru's definition and it says Meditation is a quiet, alert, powerfully concentrated state wherein new knowledge and insights are awakened from within, as awareness focuses one-pointedly on an object or specific line of thought. So that was a mouthful. Let's break it down A quiet, alert, powerfully concentrated state. That's very clear that you have to be in a quiet place, very alert, very focused, wherein new knowledge and insights are awakened from within. So you're going within you to gain new knowledge and new insights, as awareness focuses one-pointedly on an object or specific line of thought. Again, you are focusing on one thought, one word maybe, maybe a mantra, maybe your breath. So you're very focused on that one thing. If you are looking for answers, let's say you have a decision to make. You can meditate on that decision. So you're very focused on that one thought.
Sunny Lamba:This does not happen when you are walking your dog and picking its poop. Let's be very clear when you are walking your dog, yes, you could be focused on one problem that you are facing. Maybe you need to make a decision, but your mind is still everywhere. You have to watch where you are stepping, you have to watch your dog. You have to pick up the poop. Or when you are cooking, you still have to be very present in that moment. That how much salt am I putting? So you're still getting external input.
Sunny Lamba:Meditation is going within and it starts with closing your eyes and sitting still, because now you are really shutting down all external input. You're going within yourself. That's the main difference between meditation and mindfulness. Now, if you have been saying that, oh, walking is my meditation or cooking is my meditation. I don't want you to think that I am saying don't do that, continue doing that, continue being very present in your day to day activities, because that helps you stay focused. Number one. Number two it helps you stay present so that you're not letting your thoughts overtake you and you're very aware of your thoughts. But if you really want to then go to the next level, that's where you are going to sit down in a place, cross-legged, or on a chair, close your eyes, be very, still, very quiet, focus on one thing and breathe. That's the beautiful space called meditation. I want to give you an example.
Sunny Lamba:When I first started meditating, even I thought that being mindful is being in a meditative state, and I was in Costa Rica. I was already doing meditation for two years and I found sitting at the beach was the most calming experience ever. So every morning I would go to the beach. It would be so quiet because everyone was kids were in school and people were at work, and there would be like four or five people at the beach and I would just sit there focusing on the waves. I did not close my eyes, I would just look at the water, the waves just coming, and it would calm me down. It really helped me concentrate and focus and get new ideas and just get away from the day to day challenges of life.
Sunny Lamba:And I started saying and this post is probably somewhere on Facebook where I started saying that, yes, you can meditate with open eyes and focusing on one thing. That is a beautiful meditative face, but it's not true meditation. It's a great, great thing to do. If you're doing that and it's working for you, continue doing that. But try taking it to the next level of closing your eyes, blocking out that external information coming in and really going deep within you. I will be talking about the science behind meditation and the different brain waves and frequencies in the next episode, but I want you to just take one thing from here when we close our eyes, we are able to calm ourselves down. Focus on one thing it changes our brain waves and that is the place where you're able to tap into your subconscious mind, the mind that is always working in the background, and that's the subconscious mind and it's the one that is responsible for all your behaviors, your actions, your habits, how you react to people, your thoughts, your limiting beliefs, everything. It all comes from subconscious, so imagine how powerful it can be if you can go into that subconscious mind and from there you can create a new version of you. We'll talk about the science in the next episode, but in this episode I want to continue on and talk about the myths around meditation.
Sunny Lamba:When I googled this, there were so many myths that came up. Some of them were not true, but some of them were true, so I'm going to go over a few of these. Number one meditation is selfish. I don't even know where this came from. It was on some blog and, yes, they were right. It is a myth. But who didn't even think that meditation is selfish? No, it's not. Sitting with yourself, giving time to yourself, calming yourself down cannot be selfish, because when you are calm, you interact with others in a calm way. You spread that calm, peace, love, joy to others. So how can it be selfish? Another myth that I hear from my clients is I'm not good at meditation. I don't know what they mean or what anyone means by the word good, because it's very subjective. If we are attaching judgment to meditation, then we're not even meditating. Meditation is a place where you get rid of all judgment. It is just observing your thoughts, observing how your body feels, observing how your mind feels. There is no judgment. So when there is no judgment, there can be no good or bad. You cannot be good at meditation or bad at meditation. You can just meditate.
Sunny Lamba:Next one meditation is about thought control. This is a very common misconception, because meditation does not mean stopping all thoughts. All it means is observing your thoughts without judgment, as I just said, without any attachment. No thought is good or bad, it's just a thought. You recognize your thoughts as coming in, going out. That's it, that's meditation. Of course, with years of practice, you could come to a place where there are no thoughts, but it doesn't mean that you, from day one, think you can control your thoughts. No, with practice, yes, you are able to change those negative thoughts into more empowering ones, and that is the long-term benefit of meditation, but it doesn't mean that you will have no thoughts at all.
Sunny Lamba:Another one is meditation is supposed to feel amazing. This, I would say, is kind of a misconception, because, yes, in long run, meditation does feel amazing, but in the beginning you are going to feel or have things come up, traumas come up, pain come up, because we go through life at such a fast speed, we are always distracted by the tons of devices around us social media, netflix, constantly talking, chatting with people, distracted by things around us. So when we sit down and really go quiet, a lot of discomfort and pain surfaces. Trauma comes up, and it's the process of working through those emotions and thoughts which takes time. So, just like I always say, self-love is not all butterflies and roses. It is that shadowy, murky, icky work that you have to do to go through those negative feelings and then emerge on the other side with self-compassion.
Sunny Lamba:Similarly, meditation will making uncomfortable in the beginning. It might not, it might always. From day one you might just feel amazing, but it might also bring out some painful memories, trauma or some negative beliefs about yourself. Or it might bring out some memory where you did not act the way you think you are, so it's not in alignment with your image that you have. Maybe you've heard someone in the past. We all have done things we're not proud of, and meditation might bring up those shameful memories or instances or events, and that's okay. The idea is to not attach judgment to it.
Sunny Lamba:Another objection that I hear from my clients is I don't have time. Meditation takes hours and also years to get good at it. You do not need hours to meditate. You can take five minutes out of your day, close your eyes, go into some deep breathing and that's it. That's the starting point. Yes, it's true that I meditate for one hour every single day. I sometimes miss my Sunday, but I have built that over the last seven years, and especially when I was at Vipassana, we meditated for 10 hours every day and it helped me build that discipline. But it happened over time. Don't be hard on yourself. The idea of meditation is love and compassion. So even if you take five minutes out of your day and you stay consistent with that, you can then build it up to 10 minutes, and if that's where you want to be at 10 minutes, that's fine. And if you want to build it more to like 20 minutes, 30 minutes, one hour, that's fine as well. Of course, you don't want to meditate for 10 hours. We're not trying to become monks. That's not the purpose. Short, consistent meditation sessions can be profoundly beneficial and they help you to connect with that inner peace and tranquility within yourself, and they don't need extensive time commitment.
Sunny Lamba:Another misconception is that meditation is just closing our eyes and telling ourselves to let go of all things and just watching our thoughts. I said earlier that meditation is not thought control and it is observation of our thoughts. But it's not only that. There is a deeper component to it. If you just have to sit and watch your thoughts, I would recommend Netflix, probably more entertaining because your thoughts are going to bring up negative emotions. But meditation is actually initially only observing your thoughts. Second step is then trying to not judge yourself, not attach any judgment to those thoughts, and then the third step is to then really go into the subconscious and rewire those thoughts, change them, transform them into more empowering ones, and then I'm sure there are many more steps. This is the step that I'm at at the moment.
Sunny Lamba:I came across another misconception that meditation requires concentration. The truth is, this is not a misconception. This is the reality. Meditation does require you to concentrate. Now, that doesn't mean that you become hard on yourself and say, oh my God, I'm not able to focus, I'm not able to concentrate. No, in the beginning, your thoughts are going to be all over the place. You're going to think about your day, you're going to think about your kids, you're going to think about. What am I making for dinner today, what's my client call looks like today, how's the traffic going to be today, or how my day was earlier today. That's going to happen in the beginning.
Sunny Lamba:But the idea of meditation is to slowly train your brain to focus. And for focusing you can use anything. You can use guided meditations, so there's millions of guided meditations on YouTube. In fact, I have one for you as a gift today. You can also focus on one mantra, maybe something like I am, or I am calm, or I am wonderful, anything. Or you can have a Hindi mantra like Sohum. Sohum means I am. You can also focus on your breath, so you can focus on anything. But over time you do want to get to a place where you're able to focus, and the more you meditate, the more your focus muscle gets stronger and stronger and stronger and it spills on to other areas of your life, even when you're not meditating. You will see that how much your focus has improved. So if you're someone like me who has problems focusing especially with me being on the spectrum of ADHD, I have a hard time focusing on one thing, or should I say I focus on too many things at the same time Because I'm hypersensitive and I'm not able to overlook the distractions around me. So if you are someone who has trouble focusing, meditation is the best tool you can have in your tool belt which will help you sharpen your focus muscles.
Sunny Lamba:Another misconception people have is that meditation is a religious practice. No, it's not. Yes, you can think about your God or an image of your God and meditate on that, but you don't have to. Every religion, every ancient religion in the world, has meditation in some form or other. Of course it comes more from Eastern traditions, from our Saldation culture, but there is meditation in East Asian, chinese, chinese traditions as well. So meditation is not linked to any religion. There are lots of programs out there where meditation is part of their religion and you can join that if that's your inclination. But you can just sit, close your eyes, focus on your breath and that's it. You don't have to get involved in any religious practice.
Sunny Lamba:Another funny one that I hear is that only older people meditate. This cracks me up because I used to think the same. My grandpa was an avid meditator. That's my grandpa from my mother's side and I used to believe that, oh, he's old, so of course he meditates. But the truth is, meditation is beneficial for all age groups and if we can get our kids started at a very, very young age, we are doing a great service to them. They're going to benefit so much from that. It helps to clear the mind, to reduce stress, for everyone, doesn't matter what age.
Sunny Lamba:Someone also said to me that meditation is escaping from the reality, escaping from your problems, and it's for weak people. That's not true. Far from being a way to avoid problems, meditation actually empowers us to face our challenges with clarity and calmness. Instead of just jumping into our challenges and making mistakes and coming from a place of fear and trauma, we can take that time to meditate, come from a place of clarity, and it helps us enhance our problem solving abilities. It makes us more emotionally resilient. So meditation is not for weak people, or it's not going to make you weak. In fact, it's going to turn you into a stronger person.
Sunny Lamba:Someone also said that do I have to meditate at a specific time or place? No, you don't have to do that. You can meditate whenever you feel that you're going through some emotions and you're feeling agitated. You can sit down, take five minutes, close your eyes, breathe and it will calm you down. That's the starting place. Over time, if you really want to make meditation a part of your life, then, just like any other habit, it's good to have consistency. Meditation is most beneficial if you do it first thing in the morning or right before you go to bed, but that doesn't mean that you cannot do it at any other time. We are not going for perfection here, we're just going for progress. So, anytime during the day you feel like, okay, I need to take a few deep breaths, you can close your eyes and you can meditate. Once you get good at that, once you think that yes, I love this, this is for me, then yeah, maybe you can set up a specific time.
Sunny Lamba:Also, I learned in Vipassana that it's good to have a specific spot in your house for meditation. Again, it doesn't mean you have to have that. No, you can meditate in your bed, you can meditate on your work desk, you can meditate in your living room, anywhere you can sit down in some quiet. But having a specific place basically attaches you to that place and helps you create that habit. It's just like if you watch TV and that is the room that is filled with a lot of that energy of what you're watching crime dramas. So when you sit in that space, that space already has that energy and it's going to be harder to calm down.
Sunny Lamba:I have a specific space in my house for meditation. I didn't have that before Vipassana, so before last September I didn't have a specific place. I used to sometimes meditate in the bed, sometimes in the living room. But I created this place now and I feel that every time I come down and sit there I'm able to calm my mind much quicker, just because I have conditioned myself and I've kind of attached that calm feeling to that spot. That doesn't mean you got to do that. So that was some of the misconceptions about meditation.
Sunny Lamba:At the end I have a gift for you. I have recorded a meditation for you for calmness and adding some peace to your day. Imagine when life throws you a curveball or you just had a really bad traffic experience and you're agitated and you are just in that heightened state of emotions, plugging in your headphones and listening to this calming meditation. It's a beautiful visualization meditation. It takes you to this beautiful calming space and I would love to give that as a gift to you. You can download that meditation from the show notes and it would be my gift to you, just a small gift of calming energy.
Sunny Lamba:If you found this episode helpful and if you feel that you need some meditation in your life, send me a private message Instagram at Sunny underscore Lamba. Let's connect. Let me walk you through, guide you through a beautiful meditative session and see if this is something you would like to explore more. And don't forget, I do have an in person event coming up where we are going to have a beautiful meditation session of empowerment. And, on that note, this is Sunny signing off. Until next time, keep loving yourselves and stay flothantic. Thank you for listening to the Flothantic me podcast. Did you relate to something or had an aha moment? I would love to hear your thoughts. Connect with me on Instagram at Sunny underscore Lamba. You can also sign up for a newsletter so that you can get weekly tips and tools. Until next time, keep loving yourself and stay flawthentic.