068: Are Your Beliefs Holding You Back? The Truth About Negative Beliefs

Enjoying the festivities but then you go back to the same old self? In this first You Tube Episode of "Flawthentic Me" Podcast, we talk about embodying the message behind the festival of Diwali. 

Diwali is about the victory of light over darkness. Let's take the time to win over our inner darkness, i.e. our negative beliefs that hold us back and keep us stuck. 
Discover how your beliefs affect your behaviour and then answer the questions to identify those beliefs. In the next episode, we will find the real beliefs that have been masked by the world around us. 

Get ready to step into a life that's authentically yours!

With love and Sunshine
Sunny

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Chapters

• 0:00 दीपावली पर अंदर की द
• 17:18 अपनी बेलीफ्स का महत
• 23:14 अपने आत्मविश्वास की

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Diwali edition of Flawthentic Me. Today I am talking about the victory of light over darkness, but in the context of our inner darkness. So let's dive in.

Speaker 2: 0:19

This is Flawthentic Me, a self-love podcast for South Asian women. प्रस्ट अफ आल पॉडकेस्ट इस चेंजिंग बहुत ही बहुत ही बहुत ही बहुत ही बहुत ही बहुत ही बहुत ही बहुत ही बहुत ही बहुत ही बहुत ही ब change this podcast to English which is Hindi plus English because that's

Speaker 1: 1:06

how I talk in my day to day life and I felt it would be more authentic if I talk in the language that comes naturally to me वैसे तो लग रहा है कि अभी English naturally आ रही है so it will be a slow transition कि I am so used to doing this podcast in English. I am your host Sunny Lamba. This is Flop and Tick Me. Happy Diwali. आप सबको बहुत बहुत बहुत सारी दिवाली के शुब कामना है. May your life be filled with lots of abundance. धेर सारा प्यार, देर सारे पैसे, because abundance doesn't mean only money, abundance means abundance of everything, देर सारी health, may you live long and healthy, happy, joyful, peaceful life, in this special edition, I want to talk about mainly what Diwali signifies, and how you can apply that to yourself. Festivals जो है ना, वो हमारी सिंदगी में बहुत सारी खुशिया लेके आते हैं. It's that time जब हम family के साथ, friends के साथ खुब मस् एक message होता है, so दिवाली का जो message है, वो है victory of good over evil या फिर victory of light over darkness now, yes, go ahead celebrate those festivals, enjoy them खूब dance करो खूब सारा yummy yummy खाना खाओ and connect with your family, spend those special moments but also remember to take a moment to see how the message of Diwali shows up in your life. ये बहुत ज़रूरी है कि हम पूरा सा time निकाल के in all this craziness of festivals, घर की सफाइना हो रही है, मिठाईया खरीदनी है, सब friends को gifts देने है, parties करनी है, get togethers करने है, in all that make sure you take time to reflect कि मेरे अंदर की darkness को मैं कैसे जीच सकती हूँ? Now when I say darkness, I don't mean that you mean by darkness is your negative beliefs so there is a lot of darkness in us in the form of negative beliefs or negative self image, what we think of ourselves now you must have a belief like oh I am amazing confident person and that's amazing, that's great वो belief समाल के रखनी हैं उसको नहीं हमने गायब करना गहीं भी, उसको हमने बिकुल जीतना नहीं है, that is perfect, we need that. But there are beliefs like, and I'll use my beliefs as an example. Beliefs जैसे की थी, and when I joined the company, all I saw was mostly Caucasian people. So, मेरे दिमाग में यह आया कि my brown skin means I cannot be successful in the online world. Now, this comes with a lot of negative beliefs I already had. I already had these beliefs कि because I moved to Canada when I was 30 years old. अब 30 की age पे जब आप किसी नई country में move होते हो, you go throughं है, आपको बहुत शुरू हो�ल जब मैं यहां मोब हुई मुझे लगा ये दिमाव में आया की नावा नीड टू कंपीट फ़ोर ए जॉब इंटरेस्कूल में चले गई थी जब मैं इस गंटरी में आई मुझे लगा कि अब मुझे इनके साथ कमपीट करना है ये लोग यहां पढ़ टो स्कूल यूनिवर्सिटी हीर, आई स्टड़ेड इन इंडिया, और आई वोज आलवेज, आलवेज अब बहुत खुशी परिशन पर, तो ये सारी beliefs and this identity crisis I went through, but then I was over it, I did amazing in my jobs here, I was hardworking, I was a confident person, but then came the time when I had to start my business, now online business 7 years ago, I am not saying it was a new thing, but definitely it was something that was not as profound, or as big as it is right now, 7 years that was not as profound or as big as it is right now. Seven years later, my family thought I was going crazy, ये क्या कर रही है, क्यों ये online business कर रही है, ये सब scam होता है, da da da da da. All those beliefs from my family और मेरी अपनी beliefs की, ओ मेरा skin color जो, I'm not going to be successful. Now that's an inner darkness that I'm talking about. I'm talking about the beliefs that we hold about ourselves. As long as वो belief मेरी है और मैंने उस belief को पकड़ के रखा हुआ है, तब तक मैं successful नहीं हो सकती. क्यू hiding myself, hiding my skin color or I would not be authentic just like this, you know I'm talking in my language, I feel more confident and I'm being authentic even though it's a bit weird though so that that is a belief system that is a belief I'm using as an example now what are your beliefs, what are the beliefs that do not serve you, what are the beliefs that are holding you back that's my question to you. Do you have a belief that I'm not confident? So many of my coaching clients that come to me have this belief that I'm not confident. मैं आपको इन बताना चाहती हूँ कि confidence कोई आप birth हुआ जब अपनी मा के कोक में से आप जनम हुआ है तो you didn't come with all the confidence in the world, actually that's wrong, you did come with all the confidence, a little baby is so confident, they know what they want, they say you know what I am hungry and I am going to make sure I get food and they cry and they scream and they yell until they get food, if they have a dirty diaper वो चिलाएंगे, मुझे attention दो, मेरा ध्यान दो, they were confident, confident, they felt worthy, they are like I am worthy to be taken care of and loved, but somewhere down the line, we started comparing ourselves or our parents started comparing ourselves, कि उनका बच्चा ज़ादतनी लंबी है, सुंदर है, गोरी है that's what I went through I'm 5'1 and my sisters are both 5'6, 5'7 so of course there was comparison that oh my gosh ये तो छोटी रह गई है, इसकी शादी कैसे होगी my skin color, I feel that I'm the color of the mother earth, and how beautiful is that, how powerful is that, coming back to if you feel की मैं confident नहीं हूँ, I'm not confident, how does that happen, of course, you know, when those comparisons happened, आपने ये belief समझाल ली कि I'm not confident, but आपकी life में कोई तो ऐसी चीज़ होगी न जिसमें आप confident है some area maybe you are confident in speaking maybe आप खाना बनाने में confident है maybe आप running में confident है maybe आप exercise में confident है maybe आप अपनी job में बहुत confident हैं right, maybe आप parenting में बहुत confident हैं so you cannot say कि I am not confident because that's a very generic statement I am not confident means कि आप सब किसी भी चीज में confident नहीं है you must be confident in something so the truth is change that belief change that belief कि if you are doing something new and you are not confident in that means you haven't practiced it enough yet you are not competent enough yet so for example when I first started doing podcast even though I have a radio broadcasting experience and I was very good at it talking to a microphone felt weird radio पे भी मैं microphone से बात कर रही थी but I knew कि there was live audience listening to me and it came naturally but recording it, back of the mind ये था कि ओ, मैं pause कर सकती हू. Audio में तो I can cut off parts, I can pause and do, but this is a live video podcast. So if I make a mistake, I make a mistake. But live video podcast में I am not competent enough yet. यानि मैंने इतनी practice नहीं की है कि मैं confident feel करूँ. no-transcript but I want you to say change that belief change that belief to I am not confident in this thing yet I have not practiced this thing enough yet so that is the inner darkness those negative beliefs that we are holding so what beliefs are you holding for example I gave you the example of my skin color let's say there are beliefs about different things beliefs about you what beliefs do you have about yourself which are not serving you which are holding you back कौन सी beliefs हैं दुनिया के बारे में इस world के बारे में, society के बारे में anything outside of you ऐसी कौन सी beliefs हैं जो की आपको आगे बढ़ने नहीं दे रहे हैं जिनकी वज़े से आप stuck feel कर रहे हो and you are not going anywhere क्या beliefs हैं आपकी health के बारे में� पर प्रेमीट पर प्रांसफरमेटिव कॉनसेप्ट्स डिरेक्टली टू यूर लाइफ प्लस यू विल गेइन एक्सेस टू ए ट्रेजर ट्रोफ ऑफ एडवा�े belief

Speaker 2: 12:03

है कि मैं कभी पतली नहीं हो सकती,

Speaker 1: 13:09

let's say that I can never be like this person that I see on social media, if this is the belief you have, no matter how hard you work, work out, no matter आप कितना हल्दी खाओगे, no-transcript इन्हाँ it kicks in again and it goes back to 21. So that is how our self image is. Our self image is like वेट लूस करना है या वेट इस अ रॉंग टर्म अक्शिली आइड वेट इस चस्ट नंबर ऑन थे स्केल इन फैक्ट फ़नी स्टोरी वे हाव एस केल इन husband we don't weigh ourselves we have the scale we should just sell it, we haven't sold it yet but the other day I wanted to make a post on Instagram talking about body image and talking about how weight is just a number, और उस पे मैं अपना weight डालना चाहती थी, so I had to literally like go and put batteries in that scale to weigh myself so weight is just a number, weight is not the right word, but let's say ki amount of fat in your body, let's say, or the way your body looks, कि आप इससे पतले होना चाहते हो, कि आपको लगता है कि, you know, मेरे को थोड़ा सा और्मोस्टाट आप जब वर्काउट करोगे या आप जब और खाना खाओगे to gain the weight, to gain that muscle or whatever, it's gonna stop at that point. It applies to everything in your life. If you believe की, oh, I'll use my Instagram as an example. I have 3000 followers from two years. उससे पहले I worked really hard to build that following. तो उससे भी ज़्यादा होगा, maybe it's more than two years. And then I said, hey, you know what, I'm happy with this 3000. And that was the time when I stopped looking at numbers. I did some inner work and I said, hey, numbers don't matter anymore. And I stopped. But somewhere इस विश्वास पर आप देख सकते हैं what you believe about the world is what is going to come in your life what you believe about love is what you are going to get what you believe about happiness is what is going to show up in your life जो आप खुशी के बारे में प्यार के बारे में पैसे के बारे में बिलीव करते हो, कि कोई है इन्हीं अच्छा, मुझे तो कभी कोई मिलने इन्हीं वाला है, इस दुनिया में अच्छे आदमी घतम हो गए हैं right अगर आप� से मेरा मतलब अच्छे से मेरा मतलब नहीं कि थे like evil or they are psychopathic killers or anything, but just that you know they have their things that you believe are good or bad. Now आप इस date पर जाते हैं, how would you act? If you are already thinking that no, it's not going to work out, authentic self on that date you will not show up as your vibrant, loving, laughing self right आप थोड़ा से restricted होगे क्यों because your belief subconscious mind में है कि होना ही नहीं है this is not going to work out there are no good men out there it's never going to work out so when you are on this date you are not going to laugh as much you are going to be a little bit closed you won't be open to receiving love right your body language would be different the amount of sharing you have you won't share everything you will be a bit restricted because you don't believe that this is a good person or this is a person for me and that is going to impact other person can read your energy I truly believe in energies I�ब मैं किसी I meet a lot of women through networking or girl groups and stuff and events and when I walk in a room I can feel people's energy right away and even if आपको लगते हैं कि आपको energy feel नहीं होती है you do आप realize नहीं कर feeling your intuition, especially women we have a very strong intuition, you can feel it, whether what kind of person this is. Similarly that person can also feel your energy. So of course it's not going to work out. That's how the simple science is. If you believe that money is hard to earn, money is very hard to earn, बहुत महनत करनी पड़ती है पैसा कमाने के लिए, you will work hard either or you will be like oh my gosh this is too tough too much work I can't do it this is the strong power of your beliefs that's holding you your beliefs have a very strong hold on you, beliefs जो हैं आपकी जो आप मानते हो जिन चीजों में आप विउसी साथ से होती हैं, dating example आप बैठे होए हो, and you're thinking, oh my now, when you have these thoughts, your body is going to have these emotions, and when I say emotions, I am talking about actual physical reaction in your body, आपकी body में क्या हो रहा है, आपका heart थोड़ा तेट चलेगा, right, you will have sweaty palms, maybe your face will have some expressions, you'll have a frown maybe, these are the actual physical reaction, emotion is an actual physical reaction in your body, जो fear का emotion होता है, उसमें क्या होता है, you are scared, so you know, your body is clenched up, your heart is racing fear, so dating example, beliefs, आप जो विश्वकी क्या सोच है, आपकी क्या सोच रहे हो, जो आप सोच रहे हो उसके हिसाब से आपकी बॉडी में एक emotion आएगा, और emotion के हिसाब से आप react करना पड़ेगा, मेरे पास time नहीं है, मैं बच्चों को कैसे देखूंगी, social life effect हो जाएगी, ये होगा, वो होगा, so क्या होगा, thoughts आ गप काम नहीं करोगे, you will just completely stop for example my podcast, before summer I took a break because I was going through some beliefs about myself about my podcast, that I don't have much value to offer I have to be a perfectionist, I cannot make a mistake literally before this summer I could not have sat on this video and talked like this, क्योंकि मुझे लगता था कि I need notes, I need to read the notes, बिकुल perfect होना चाहिए, कोई गलती नहीं होनी चाहिए, people are judging me, so what happened? Now all these beliefs that I have to be a perfectionist da da da da da, led ये तो गलतियां कर रही है, इसके पास तो कुछ है ही नहीं बोलने के लिए, so they won't listen to me, that thoughts, thoughts से क्या हुआ, emotions आए, emotions आए कि now I'm scared, right, I'm scared to do a podcast, fear of judgment है, आज करूँगी, दुपैर को करूँगी, शाम को करूँगी, कल सुबह करूँगी and every week I was not recording my podcast and every week I had to say, oh this week there is no episode so I took a 4-5 months break this is how your beliefs impact you what beliefs do you have about yourself so इस दिवाली पे I want you to take a moment and answer this question ऐसी कौन सी belief है आपके बारे में जो की आपको एकी जगा पर stuck रखा हुआ है जिसकी वज़े से आप आगे नहीं बढ़ Question number two, what is that one belief about the world that is holding you back? So world ki beliefs mein examples are there are no good men out there. Another example is economy is really bad. If you believe economy is really bad, you are not going to put the work into your business because you think your people don't have money to pay. Economy is really bad. Or you are not going to apply for jobs because you think there are no good jobs out there because economy is really bad. So what beliefs do you have about the world और आप जोबों को अपने प्रश्न नहीं प्रश्न नहीं करेंगे, क्योंकि वेकॉनिमी बहुत बढ़ी हैं। If you believe there is so much love in this world and joy and peace, you are going to attract that into your life. So that was question number two. What beliefs do you have about the world? Number three. What beliefs do you have about and now I want you to pick any area of your life. If you are currently struggling with health, then what beliefs do you have about health? What beliefs do you have about love? What beliefs do you have about relationships? What beliefs do you have about money? अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अब अ� इस three questions and then in the next episode we will work on finding your true self. I was about to say we will work on changing those beliefs. No, it's not about creating new beliefs because they are already in there. All those positive beliefs about you, that super confident powerful woman is already in you. She's just lost. We have just lost her in this whole process of growing up and believing other people, हमने औरों की beliefs को adopt कर लिया और अपना belief बना लिया हमने जो लोगों ने हमें बोला उसे ले लिया, उसको बच्चा वो पुरा और जॉय है, हम बच्चा बच्चा बच्चा बच्चा बच्चा बच्चा बच्चा बच्चा बच्चा बच्चा बच्चा बच्� and you're looking in the mirror and you think there's something on your face it's funny because my camera my phone camera I do outfit of the day videos if you're following me on Instagram by the way it's at Sunny underscore Lamba since this is my first podcast video on YouTube if you're watching on YouTube go follow me on Instagram at Sunny underscore Lamba so मैं वो जब वीडियो ख़ुशाती हूँ ना मेरा mirror गंदा है and I'm doing the video and I kept cleaning my camera lens, I thought there was something on my camera lens but it was actually on the mirror ऐसे ही कभी आप उस चश्मे को उतार के उसे साफ करो या उसे उतार दो. And look at the true real you. वो जो की इतना उसके अंदर प्यार है, इतना confidence है, इतनी strength है, इतनी power है, कि वो दुनिया हिला सकती है, वो कहा, in which, you know, we meet in a group setting. It's a beautiful community of strong, powerful women, who are finding the true strength within them. And we are all working together on this. I also do one-on-one coaching, तो उसमें भी मैं आपकी help कर सकती हूँ. कौन सीो हम कैसे हटाएंगे, कैसे हम new beliefs जो हैं, जो कि already दे रहे हैं, उनको वापस बहर निकालेंगे अपने में, कैसे हम उस शीशे कवाली gives you power to really tap into your true self to really understand that it's time that you stop taking in other people's beliefs it's time that you start finding your own power and don't let anyone tell you otherwise कोई आपको यह नहीं कह सकता कि आप में कोई कमपको यह नहीं कह सकता, कि आपने कोई कमी है, और अगर वो बोल रहे हैं, तो उन्हें बोल ले दो, because that's their insecurity, that's their perspective, that's their life experience, they this episode helped you in any way please like, share and subscribe oh my gosh I'm doing my like first YouTube video no please share it share it on your social media if you're listening on Spotify my people you are my people, you've been here from last couple years since this podcast started I am so so so grateful for each and every one of you who take the time out of your busy days to listen to this podcast. So if you're listening on Spotify, thank you so much. If there is something that you think that you want to run by me and say Hey Sunny, tell me about this more. Send me a message on Instagram at Sunny underscore Lamba. And on that note, this is Sunny signing off. Until next time, keep loving yourself and stay Fluffantic.

Speaker 2: 28:14

Thank you for listening to the Flauthentic Me Podcast. Did you relate to something or had an aha moment? I would love to hear your thoughts. Connect with me on न्यूसलेटर सो दिखिए वीट्ली टिप्स एंड टूब अंटिल नेक्स्ट टाइम की लविंग यूर्सर एंड स्टेफ लाइफ एंटिक